I feel like today is a good day to talk about body image. Every day is a good day to talk about it, but for me – today in particular is perfect. Whilst at work, an elderly gentleman asked me if I was pregnant as I’d put on weight. I literally could have cried right there and then. This elderly gentleman has no mental issues – he is just an honest kind of guy. It really threw me. I’m not fat. I know I’m not fat. I don’t particularly think I’m chubby, but I have put on weight in the past year. After having Daisy I gained a tummy – it’s only normal after giving birth, right? I’m not one for exercising and so it never really disappeared. I have a terrible diet – I hate to admit it – but I eat rubbish. But it hasn’t bothered me. At least not until stepping on the scales a few weeks ago and noticing how much weight I’d actually gained. Throw in a nice ‘compliment’ from someone who’s brutally honest and I’m stuck thinking ‘Oh, crap. I need to lose some pounds’.
As a teenager i wanted to be incredibly skinny. I would go for days without eating so that I could lose weight. It was dangerous and a little bit of a rough time for me. But it happened. It happens. I don’t carry much self confidence and so weight has always been a bit of an issue for me. After having Daisy I discovered there’s more to life. I noticed I began to not think much about my weight. I was happy in my skin and I ate whatever I wanted to eat. Not only that, but I have to set an example. I don’t want my daughter seeing me unhappy in my own skin – I want her to believe that I believe I am beautiful. So I became comfortable. I didn’t worry about what I ate. If I wanted McDonald’s two days on the trot then I would do just that.
I need a healthier diet. Not to lose weight but to show Daisy how to eat. I give her the good stuff but then I eat rubbish. There’s going to come a time when she sees what I eat and be swayed by that. I’m not good at cooking – I remember when I had to ask my parents how to boil an egg – something that I never live down! But there’s always time for learning a new life skill and I think it’s something I need to attempt. I’m happy in my skin, even with the gentleman at work asking me if I’d put on weight. I want Daisy to grow up and know that she is strong, beautiful, smart and be completely happy living the truest version of herself.