I like to look back every so often and think about how I could of perhaps done things a little differently. There is always room for improvement in life and instead of criticising myself and beating myself up about things I would of changed I think it’s better to be pleased with how I managed things and just pin point what I’d do differently to make life easier next time around. Bringing up Daisy this past year has been a rollercoaster of an adventure. The majority has been major highs but there have of course been lows too, I would be lying if I said we was all happy and no tantrums! So here are five things I probably would have done differently if I had the chance!
1. WORRY LESS – This may be a lot easier said than done but I can’t believe how much I worried over nothing! When push comes to shove I realise now that in most situations Daisy was just fine. I didn’t need to sit up all night and watch her sleep when she was sick, she would of been just fine if I hadn’t. I didn’t need to panic that she wasn’t crawling at 6 months old. Every baby develops at different stages. When she was screaming that she wanted out the pushchair in the middle of a busy supermarket checkout I didn’t need to worry that every other person was staring at me. They probably where. But they probably didn’t think anything of it, or thought ‘Oh, been there’.
2. MAKEUP FREE! – I remember sleepless nights, waking up in the morning and attempting to juggle a newborn whilst putting on a face full of makeup and trying to perfect my hair. It was a stress and a hassle that really need not be! I probably shouldn’t have worried about makeup and hair and looking perfect.. at the end of the day I was a first time sleep deprived mum, it’s only right to look the part, right?
3. STAY PUT – within the first month I felt the need to go out, as much as possible, every day. I don’t know why! I think it was for the sake of Daisy getting fresh air, when really she would of been happy to wander around the block once or twice and I would of been happier to stay put most days catching up on sleep and rest!
4. EACH TO THEIR OWN– I would (and have started to) worry less about the opinions of other mothers. The majority of mum friends I have tend to be supporting and have open minds, yet you get the occasional closed minded parent that thinks everything you do is wrong. How dare you give your child a snack to keep them quiet? How could you possibly pick her dummy (pacifier) up from the floor and just give it a simple wipe before putting it back in her mouth? You are always going to get that one person. Don’t stress about it. I realise now I was doing just fine without their bias opinions!
5. TAKE THE HELP – I was so lucky to have family and friends that were so eager to help have Daisy and take her off my hands for a while. When I had a prenatal gender DNA test and found out I was having a girl, all of my family and friends were ecstatic! There are so many boys in our family already we were really hoping for a girl. They immediately offered their time to help take me to doctor’s appointments, to the shops if I needed to go, anywhere really. I remember occasionally feeling a little guilty. And when the baby arrived, they would always offer to come over and help me cook, or put the dirty clothes in the washing machine. I look back and I can’t believe I sometimes doubted jumping at the chance to have a break! The excitement of a new baby soon tends to fade so when people offer to give you a little breather, accept it! Don’t think about it, just go and sleep! Trust me, you’d feel a lot better if you decided to take the sleep that was being offered to you, as it can be harder to function on no sleep at all. And this isn’t good with a newborn. To make sure that you feel particularly relaxed and get a good nights sleep, you may want to take your friend up on her offer of teaching you how to grind weed without grinder so you can wake up feeling refreshed and ready to go. I’ve heard that a lot of people have decided to do this when they’re tired from work-related matters or that they’re just exhausted from looking after their children, and it has seemed to work for them. And so that is why it is so important to take help when you need it. It may just be the best thing that you’ll ever do.